Sunday, May 31, 2009

THERE’S A GHOST IN ME….AND Other Thoughts That Make A Day Go By

“In the first days / of the spring time /
made you up and / split from one thousand enemies / made a trail of / of a thousand tears/ made you a prisoner / inside your own secrecy / There's a ghost in me /
who wants to say "I'm sorry" /
Doesn't mean I'm sorry”

- “Ghosts”, Ladytron


Nothing is what it seems.

People can be who they are, when they want to be, but we find that in the end, it has all been so unreal.

In my most recent take on this adventure in life, I have found myself questioning all that I am. And at the same time questioning those who I have come to know.

At one time I did write “There was a time before symmetry”*. And thus it has begun.

I believe Edison and Tesla had the right idea. Or, shall I say, ideas. Invention is the key to invasion. Making it stick doesn’t matter. Making it up by sheer act of will and imagination, that is what matters most.

In the past few weeks I’ve faced everything, so it would seem. And have been at a very creative peak. Its funny what music can do for the body, mind and soul. I needed a shot in the arm. I got that and so much more. A fire has been lit.

But, I will not be understood. To be understood, that is for the future.

I’ve been labeled everything but no one ever tries to get to know what’s real. I’m so far removed from their misguided perceptions that its quite amusing sometimes. No one can seem to lock me in a box. Once they’ve done their best Sherlock, I’ve gone and done something that blows them away.

There are those who would seek my failing. Those who, because of no fault of my own, would rather have me at the heel of their foot before they will shake my hand in solidarity. You know the ones. Why does it have to be like this?

Do I fight or do I laugh? Do I let them know that they can kiss my ass or do I crack jokes on them for years to come?

Damn. It is a dilemma.

Back to the future.

So, today I made it very clear that I wasn’t going to be so laid back. I’ve done my best and now its time for something new.

I think very hard about the past and the challenges and opportunities that have come my way. I have been fortunate and blessed. Talents, knowledge and a keen sense of direction….with no end in sight. I’m sure there are others more fortunate than me. More blessed by the graces of both God and man. I lean forward and take a bow---while thinking to myself that it can all end in an instance.

Now, that we’ve got that out of the way, how about you finding your place in this world. Either being part of the problem or part of the solution is now a matter of opinion. Just don’t hurt anybody along the way.

I wanted to make things right. But I’ve found that if you come ‘round here talking about love, pain, hurt, happiness, suffering and the like “you better wear your toughest skin”**.

So its time to step back, wish the world a way and listen to the soothing sounds of ambience…..

Peace.....and let love in....

*”The Unbearable Likeness of Being Here” from Dead Artists Symmetry
**”Skin” – Vigilantes of Love

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